Miscellaneous

10 Things More Believable Than Kurt Busch’s Girlfriend Being The Deadliest Woman In The World

Miscellaneous

Mike Krumrei is an accomplished writer, former journalist and participation trophy recipient. Despite not driving a vehicle for several years, his theoretical knowledge of the practice allows for a more fluid discussion of the finer points of almost any vehicle including cup holders and vanity mirrors. During his brief driving career, the first car he was in that started on fire was a 1990 Ford Taurus.

One of my favorite stories currently on CarDebater is about NASCAR driver Kurt Busch’s claims that he couldn’t have possibly have allegedly abused his former girlfriend because she is a trained assassin. Let me be very clear about this in case you are unfamiliar with the story and don’t want to click on the link to the original.

Busch said in court, while under oath, that he couldn’t possibly have allegedly abused or harmed his girlfriend because she is a trained assassin. Here is the ESPN article, just in case you are really confused. If this theater of the absurd needs a little more probing, CarDebater is going to be the one to do it.

Here are 10 things that are more believable than Kurt Busch’s girlfriend being the deadliest woman in the world.

10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.’s girlfriend is replicating dinosaur DNA to build an actual Jurassic Park

9. Carl Edwards has never successfully completed a front flip, but he can backflip into your heart everytime

8. Kyle Busch secretly hates M&M’s but loves when the bag is filled with W&W’s

7. Denny Hamlin is one of three people in the world that has been banned from every Denny’s restaurant west of the Mississippi River and north of South Dakota. These are the other two

6. Ryan Newman and Wayne Knight (Newman from Seinfeld) have never been photographed together

5. Joey Logano is only able to turn his head in one direction

4. Kevin Harvick was heartbroken when he realized what four-abreast actually meant

3. Jimmie Johnson is the seventh most requested birthday clown currently driving in NASCAR

2. Danica Patrick is actually the assassin that Kurt Busch is thinking of

1. Anything. Anything is literally more believable than Kurt Busch’s girlfriend being the deadliest woman in the world

Obviously we are having some fun with this guy. But if you are going to try to claim to the world that you are dating Xena: Warrior Princess and that is why you couldn’t possibly have slammed her head into a wall, you’re as big of a dick as you are an idiot, Kurt.

Click to add a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

More in Miscellaneous

Chibatman Drives Through City

Always Be Yourself — Unless You Can Be Batman

Brian VogelOct 13, 2018
top-10-best-automotive-car-moments-wrestling-wwe-history-austin-angle-beer-milk-truck

10 Best Automotive Moments In Pro Wrestling

Brian VogelAug 6, 2018
essence-90s-chevy-truck-commercial-like-a-rock

The Essence Of 90’s Chevy Truck Commercials

John MeiseJan 20, 2017
Very basic.

How Basic Is Your Car?

Melissa SorcicJan 5, 2017
Jann Mardenborough Playstation Toyota Racing

Jann Mardenborough Is Proof That Playstation Pays

Brian VogelFeb 12, 2015
ram-rebel-monster-trucks-movie-release-date-2015-christmas-day-star-wars-plot-preview-rob-lowe-cast

‘Monster Trucks’ Movie Will Be Shittiest Gift We Get This Christmas

John MeiseFeb 1, 2015
Cheeseburger traffic ticket

Unpopular Opinion: The Cheeseburger Guy Had It Coming

Melissa SorcicJan 26, 2015
peeves002-main

The Peeves, 002: Roundabouts

Tyler RitchieJan 21, 2015
the-peeves-001-fast-lane-A

The Peeves, 001: Fast Lane

Tyler RitchieJan 5, 2015