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HondaVAC Makes The Minivan Experience Even Worse…If That’s Possible

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hondavac disappointment

Buying a minivan has to be one of life’s most depressing moments. When someone decides that a minivan is the route they are going with their next vehicle purchase, I’m guessing that a little piece of them dies.

Seemingly sensing that a minivan is the end game for an exciting life, Honda decided that it would rub some salt in the wound with the HondaVAC on the Odyssey. Since life for these van consumers revolves around mundane activities like cooking and cleaning anyway, why not put a vacuum right in the vehicle?

The rear of your ride used to be equipped with sub-woofers back in the 90s. And it was a classic Monte Carlo. Now you’re old and your vehicle is a minivan with a fucking vacuum in the back.

hondavac and crums

See you again soon crumbs!

Beyond the insult that is having a vacuum equipped in the car is the utility factor. Personally, I go to the gas station and use the high powered vacuum that has sucked down more unknown substances than a Vegas prostitute.

There are several reasons for using the gas station vacuum.

First, it’s super powerful. I can stick the hose under the seat and it’s going to take everything with it. I don’t even have to see the shit – it’s just gone. And that leads into the second reason – that shit is gone forever into the unholy mess that is the inside of a gas station vacuum. Maybe someone has to deal with it, but it’s not me. Where do you think that mixture of child vomit and french fries goes with the HondaVAC? Yep, into a container that stinks up the car until you clean it out. So you get to clean TWICE! Thanks, Honda.

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So while the HondaVAC ads a while back might have been cute and made you think that this was a cool accessory, don’t be fooled. If you are using the vac, it means that you are driving a van – and your life is probably shitty, and will get even more shitty when you have to clean the vac out.

Wes grew up around cars at the family business. He makes no attempt to hide his love of early 90s GM products, and still repents selling his sweet '94 Pontiac Sunbird a few years back. He is currently a managing partner at phantomcopy.com.

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Jim

    Mar 18, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Wes, you spelled crumbs wrong.

  2. Wes Lungwitz

    Mar 18, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    Looks write to me

  3. GP

    Jul 6, 2016 at 11:03 am

    WOW you are one big Honda hater who clearly has no idea about travelling with kids. And BTW owning a minivan does not equal to end of excitement. totally worthless article.

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Car WTFs

The Most Interesting Aspects of the Dodge Demon

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hellcat demon engine

Many of us thought that the Dodge Challenger Hellcat was about as intimidating as a car could get. After all, people couldn’t hardly get them off the lot without crashing them when they first came out. Then Dodge upped the ante with the new Demon. But aside from the raw power, there are some other interesting aspects of the new Demon.

Check out the video below for a full rundown of just how unique this car is.

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Car WTFs

Mercedes Names May Be Getting More Confusing

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mercedes naming gls coupe

Think you finally have your Mercedes names mastered? Well, a new challenge appears to be coming, friend.

How to now identify Mercedes models by name

Some moves in the northwoods of Canada by the brand appear to signal a change in the naming conventions that will be used for Mercedes and AMG models. Candian trademarks have been filed for  A 40, CLA 40, SLC 40, SLC 50 and GLE 50 in addition to CLA 53, G73 and S73.

If this proves true in the states, it would signal an end to the rule of two digits for Mercedes, three-digits for AMG counterparts. The new world would be two digits, ending in a “0” for Mercedes, and two digits ending in a “3” for AMG. This supports rumors of  an AMG ‘73’ model with a hybrid powertrain.

While this change isn’t terribly difficult to comprehend, it certainly makes things interesting when comparing legacy and upcoming Mercedes models. There are a lot of numbers to keep straight, and a lot of explaining to do. And the letter and number combos leave something to be desired in terms of cachet.

Oh, it’s got cachet baby!

It makes one appreciate the simplicity of giving each vehicle an actual name, like the domestic manufacturers do. Sure, that’s how we ended up with the Chevy Nova, but what are you going to do? There are only so many names, surely one for an automobile would end up meaning “no go” in some language, right?…

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Car WTFs

What’s with Toyota’s weird shifter pattern?

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"What's the Toyota's weird shifter pattern?" image of 2011 Toyota Camry shifter

I like my car. It’s a 2011 Toyota toaster, I mean Camry. If you made a list of everything a car has to do, the Camry would check all the boxes. It gets me from point A to point B with the consistency a learning golfer would envy. It’s a toaster. You put in the bread, choose your level of toastiness, push down the thingy and then wait for it to pop up. But there is one interesting thing about my car. The shifter. That’s it up there. That is definitely not conventional at all. So, what’s with Toyota’s weird shifter pattern? (more…)

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