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Which Of The Square Vehicles Out There Is Sponge-Worthy?

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If you are even a casual fan of Spongebob Squarepants, then you probably know that the show’s subject has had a heck of a time earning his driver’s license. While Spongebob likely has some mental limitations that lead to this, I maintain that there is another reason altogether – he’s driving a boat with wheels on it…at the bottom of the ocean.

spongebob boat

You try driving a boat with wheels.

I understand the water element of the show. Therefore a boat makes sense. But again, it has wheels, and it surely isn’t floating, so it’s not offering any of the advantages that a boat normally would. So I figured, why not set Spongebob up with a proper ride – something that was made to run on wheels? Sure, the engine would seize in minutes underwater, but it’s about as likely as driving a boat that for some reason can’t float.

And what better ride for a guy like Spongebob Squarepants than one of the square vehicles offered on the market: the Nissan Cube, Kia Soul or Scion xB.

But which one is sponge-worthy?

 Kia SoulNissan CubeScion xB
Price
$15,695$17,570$17,725
Engine1.6-liter four-cylinder1.8-liter four-cylinder2.4-liter four-cylinder
Weirdly SquareYesYesYes
Available in YellowYesNoNo

Nissan Cube

2014 nissan cube

The Nissan Cube might have the best look for under-the-sea driving. The windows have a circular, almost bubble look to them. And the wrap-around window on the back may look strange to the land-lovers among us, but it actually provides an ideal unobstructed view of the ocean when driven underwater.

The price of the Cube is in between the Soul and the Scion, making it a good middle option. Same with the engine, which isn’t overpowering – a good thing for a guy that’s been known to drive a little reckless at times.

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Kia Soul

Kia soul yellow

The lower price tag of the Soul might make the decision easy for Spongebob. After all, we know that old Mr. Crabs isn’t paying him much of a wage – and he often volunteers to work for free. With a starting price of $15,695, the Soul is around $2K less than the other options out there. And the smaller 1.6-liter engine is perfect for an inexperienced driver like Spongebob.

A true selling point on the Soul is that it is available in yellow. This would put Spongebob right at home – and the Soul looks a lot better in Spongebob yellow than Toyota’s lame attempt with the Highlander. Plus, the Highlander is too much vehicle for him.

Scion xB

scion xbIf Spongebob is looking for the most square of the bunch, the Scion xB might just win out. Plus, it looks weird enough to blend right in on the ocean floor. And have you seen the people that drive Scions? Even on land, it wouldn’t be all that strange to see something that resembled a sea-dwelling organism emerge from a Scion.

With the highest price tag and most powerful engine, the Scion xB might not be the best option for Spongebob. But those that like being different among the rest of us might be intrigued.

Winner of the CarDebate:

The best option for Spongebob Squarepants is the Kia Soul. It’s affordable, not too powerful and comes in yellow. It also would look great parked next to an enormous pineapple.

 

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Wes grew up around cars at the family business. He makes no attempt to hide his love of early 90s GM products, and still repents selling his sweet '94 Pontiac Sunbird a few years back. He is currently a managing partner at phantomcopy.com.

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Comparisons

What Are the Most Powerful Sports Cars of 2022?

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GT500 F-Type MC20 A110_o

When shopping for a new car, many of us have our own list of needs and wants. While these lists will vary from person to person, one factor that some drivers like to enjoy is engine power. Many automotive brands have sports cars that will help you satisfy your need for speed. However, which model will provide you with the most power and speed? Which one should you buy in 2022? In this post, we will be looking at the most powerful sports cars of 2022. Keep reading to find out which one you should bring home from the dealership. 

Which Models Will Satisfy Your Need for Speed?

In no particular order, these models, both new and returning, are great options to consider when shopping for a new sports car in 2022.

Porsche 911 silver front view

Porsche 911

A longtime favorite of sports car drivers, the Porsche 911 continues to provide an exhilarating driving experience after 60 years. The standard Carrera model can accelerate from 0-60 mph in approximately 4.2 seconds and reach a top speed of 182 mph. If you’re looking for a little more power, the Turbo S model has an acceleration time of 2.7 seconds and a top speed of 205 mph.  

Maserati MC20

After 18 years of being off the market, the Maserati MC20 came back with a statement. Powered by a 3.0-liter twin-turbo V6 engine with 621 hp, the MC20 can accelerate from 0-62 mph in about 2.9 seconds and reach an impressive top speed of 202 mph. In addition to these specs, the MC20 also has F1-dervied technology which helps prove that it is still a strong force in the sports car segment. 

BMW M5 white side view

BMW M5 CS

This sports car takes the excitement that you enjoy with the BMW M5 and takes it to the next level. Although powered by the same V8 engine, the M5 CS has upgrades that provide it with an extra 10 hp, or a total of 626 hp. This model can go from 0-62 mph in 3.0 seconds and make its way up to a top speed of 189 mph. 

Alpine A110

This two-seater sports car is designed as an homage of the original 1960s A110 and is the reintroduction of the Alpine brand after its long hiatus. The A110 is powered by a turbocharged 1.8-liter engine that can be tuned to offer either 248 hp or 288 hp. Paired with a seven-speed dual-clutch automatic gearbox, this model can accelerate from 0-60 mph in 4.5 seconds or in 4.4 seconds for the A110 S version. 

Jaguar F-TYPE

The Jaguar F-TYPE has faced success since it first entered the market thanks to its powerful performance and affordable price tag. The F-TYPE P-450 model comes with a 5.0-liter V8 engine that provides up to 444 hp and 428 lb-ft of torque. This version achieves a top speed of 177 mph and an acceleration time of 4.4 seconds. The F-TYPE R version provides drivers with 575 hp, 516 lb-ft of torque, a top speed of 186 mph and an acceleration time of 3.5 seconds. 

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Ford Shelby Mustang GT500

The Ford Mustang has been a longtime favorite among drivers for its powerful specifications and driver-focused driving experience. However, the Shelby Mustang GT500 is the most powerful in Ford production history with 760 horsepower and 625 lb-ft of torque. The power of this sports car continues with its 0-60 mph acceleration time of 3.3 seconds and a top speed of 180 mph. 

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Comparisons

Acura NSX and Dodge Viper Highlight New-Age Vs. Tradition In Supercar Segment

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acura nsx vs dodge viper

Acura recently released specs on the much-anticipated 2017 version of the NSX. Meanwhile, the word from Dodge appears to be that the Viper could be discontinued after 2017. But even though the two vehicles may be headed in separate directions, consumers are no doubt still going to want to compare the two. (more…)

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Comparisons

2016 Ford vs Chevy Battle Could Be The Best Yet

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2016 mustang vs 2016 camaro

Ford vs Chevy. The debate over which brand reigns supreme has raged on between loyalists of each for decades. While both are successful American automotive companies, there has always been a line drawn in the sand between the two sets of fans. You are either a “Ford guy” or a “Chevy guy” – there is no crossing over. (more…)

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