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Rating The Super Bowl Car Commercials

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@WesLungwitz

Wes grew up around cars at the family business. He makes no attempt to hide his love of early 90s GM products, and still repents selling his sweet '94 Pontiac Sunbird a few years back.

This year, I thought the Super Bowl car commercials were just alright. Sure, some were better than others – but nothing really stood out enough to be a 10. So without further delay, below are my ratings for each Super Bowl car commercial on a simple 1-10 scale. Don’t agree? Join the debate in the comments.

Maserati Ghibli – 9

Super Bowl Maserati Ghibli

This one was unexpected. And it caused a wave of searches of “What is the Maserati Ghibli?” Pretty impressive – and an ad that obviously did its job. Great placement helped this commercial as well (before Peyton’s first breakdown). Well done, Maserati.

Chrysler 200 Bob Dylan – 8

Super Bowl Chrysler 200 Bob Dylan

Obviously, Chrysler keeps trying to strike gold again like it did with the Eminem 200 ad in 2010. It’s hard to beat the original with the ‘Imported from Detroit’ theme, but Bob Dylan isn’t a bad way to give it a shot. The tagline seems a bit like the old one – ‘America’s Import.’

Jeep Cherokee ‘Restless’ – 7

Super Bowl Jeep Cherokee

The new Cherokee allows you freedom. City dwellers need not apply. Another pretty good attempt at a serious tone from the Chrysler camp.

Jaguar F-Type British Villains – 7

Super Bowl Jaguar British Villains

British villains drive Jaguars. So you should too? Pretty well put together commercial. Bad boys flock to Jaguar!

Kia K900 ‘The Truth’ – 6

Super Bowl Kia K900

I was feeling the Matrix theme a little bit…until Morpheus started singing opera. Quit while you’re (somewhat) ahead. And I still don’t understand the K900 name.

Hyundai Genesis ‘Dad’s Sixth Sense’ – 6

Super Bowl Hyundai dad

So while dad may be able to save you from falling in a lake and taking a pinata strike to the balls, he’s strangely uninterested as you are learning to drive for the first time. Luckily, the Genesis saves both of your lives.

Honda ‘Hugfest’ – 6

Super Bowl Honda Hugfest

I understand Honda wanted to promote its vehicle safety, but Fred Armisen holding Bruce Willis close didn’t exactly register as something I wanted to see.

Chevrolet ‘Life’ – 6

Super Bowl Chevrolet Life

This one was just a little depressing. Again, a good message and cause, but kind of a downer during the Super Bowl.

Chevy Silverado HD ‘Romance’ – 5

Super Bowl Chevy Silverado HD

A man and his truck…and cow breeding. I’m excited about this truck now?

Toyota Highlander Muppets – 5

Toyota Highlander Muppets

The Toyota Highlander sure has a lot of passenger space. I mean, look at all of those Muppets in there! Could have been worse – and Muppets fans no doubt enjoyed it.

Ford Fusion ‘Nearly Double’ – 5

Super Bowl Ford Fusion

An interesting two-part commercial series, using the term ‘interesting’ loosely. In the second one, James Franco is Rob Riggle, for some reason. Double the fuel economy in the Fusion Hybrid – got it.

Hyundai Elantra ‘Nice’ – 4

Super Bowl Hyundai Elantra

Dr. Leonard Hofstadler and comedian Richard Lewis for some reason avoiding obstacles in an Elantra. I’ll tell you what, if I’m ever in their situation, I sure hope that I’m not driving a Hyundai Elantra.

Audi A3 ‘Doberhuahua’ – 4

Super Bowl Doberhuahua

This is one of those ads that tries way too hard to be funny as far as I’m concerned. This is lowbrow humor, so it probably did well with a lot of viewers. Not my cup of tea, and doesn’t do anything for the Audi A3.

Volkswagen ‘Wings’ – 2

Super Bowl Volkswagen wings

Vehicle engineers with rainbows shooting out of their asses. That’s all I really have to say about this one.

 

View Comments (2)

2 Comments

  1. Shrek

    Feb 4, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Learn to laugh idiot

  2. Wes Lungwitz

    Feb 5, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    Obviously a Doberhuahua fan. Glad to see you have internet out in the swamp these days!

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