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The Peeves, 002: Roundabouts

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If you live in an urban area, you’ve probably seen a roundabout. They’re all the rage these days, and for good reason too. The biggest advantage is that they increase traffic flow ten-fold. No waiting at a stoplight even though no one is at the cross section, no getting super backed up in places that aren’t built for being super backed up, et cetera. The pros were endless, and there didn’t seem to be any cons. Well, there were cons. But can we fault the government for not realizing that 90% of people on the road are complete idiots?

look-a-pretty-roundabout

Pretty right? It’ll be destroyed in 2 months.

No one saw it coming, that’s for sure. But if the amount of people driving in the left lane could have been any indicator, they certainly should have. What is truly insane is the amount of good, competent drivers who go out of their way to avoid roundabouts. Not because they don’t know what they’re doing, but because they realize nobody else does. These things are a death trap. I know, because back in high school, shortly after they had just put in a fancy new roundabout that everyone was both excited and scared by, I had a friend whose stepfather took his moped out for a stroll. He was minding his business, following the rules of the road (and the roundabout) when he was sideswiped by a vehicle and endured massive injuries.

Now, I’m not calling for a cease to these roundabouts. Like I said, these things are great for traffic flow, and if you’ve learned anything about me from the first Peeves then it’s probably that I like to get where I’m going in a timely manner. All I’m saying, is that if we want to keep putting these damn things on our roads then we need to teach people how to use them. So I’m going to try my best to teach you, and what I need from you is to do something little Haley Joel taught us. Pay it forward. So when you read this, spread the word. Share it with your friends. Make sure your grandma knows what she’s doing the next time she hops into her Buick.

roundabout-does-this-help

Do this. Except don’t tailgate. That’s a dick move.

The best way I know to teach people how to use these is by replacing their image of what a roundabout is. Most of the roundabouts that you come into contact with are probably just tiny little two-lane things literally used to replace an intersection. But picture for a moment if that roundabout were expanded, with longer distances between each turning point, and a bunch of greenery in the middle so that you can’t even see the opposite side. Having that image in your head will make understanding how to maneuver through a roundabout much easier. Of course, if you actually do come across a roundabout this big, with more than two lanes… just turn around and go away if you want to live.

Alright, you’re approaching this big roundabout, and there’s two lanes. Think hard about where you want to go. Is there a gas station to the left that has the best 40 oz slurpees in town? Do you need to go straight because that’s where the onramp to the highway is? Is your apartment to the right? Once you know which direction you need to go, you can decide which lane to get in. If you’re going to the right, always be in the right lane. If you’re going straight you can generally be in either the left or right lane, but be sure to pay attention to road signs just in case the one you’re entering is different. Then if you need to get to that gas station, you should probably just be in the left lane. But like I said, check your road signs. Sometimes the left lane is reserved for only left turns, other times you can turn left from either lane. Just never, ever, EVER turn right from the left lane. You’re going to kill somebody.

look-a-yield-sign

See? There are signs and everything.

Okay so you know what lane you need to be in, and you’re getting closer to the big moment. Now picture your entry point as the right turn lane onto a highway onramp – you know – with the yield signs. You slow down to make sure that nobody is coming from the left before you even enter the onramp, right? Well you should. Treat the roundabout the same way, slow down! Pretend like it’s a yield sign or something. Oh wait, IT IS A YIELD SIGN.

So you’re coming up to this big roundabout, and you’re yielding. Sure you look in front of you and to the right to make sure there is no one there, either a vehicle or a pedestrian (pedestrians fuck everything up, am I right?), but where you really want to pay attention is to the left. Make sure that there is nobody coming from around that corner that you can’t even see, then make sure that the guy in the big ass truck, that could probably drive right over you, sitting at the entry point to your left isn’t about to pull out. Then and only then, if it’s all clear, are you able to go. But wait! Do you have your turn signal on?

tiger-pump

You deserve this. Unless you failed.

DON’T HAVE YOUR TURN SIGNAL ON! I don’t know why, but there is nothing that pisses me off more than a left turn signal in a roundabout. If you’re taking the first exit and there is no gap between your entry point and said exit, sure, flip your right hand turn signal on. But if you’re taking the third exit, or what would be left if the roundabout was gone, don’t turn your turn signal on! You’re not actually going left. You’re turning into a rightward-motioning roundabout! You shouldn’t turn your signal on until you get to your exit, no matter what exit that is, and it’ll ALWAYS be the right signal. If you’re going “straight,” or taking the second exit, wait til you get up to it and signal, whether you’re in the left or right lane. Same goes for the “left,” or third exit, don’t signal til you’re ready to get out of there. And when you are, signal right. Because, you know, that’s the direction you’re turning.

Now give yourself a Tiger Woods fist pump because you did it. You’re alive and you didn’t kill anybody else. Was that so hard? For further information and more good tips, you can check out this brochure. Just make note that it is for Wisconsin so your state might be a little different. Now remember, take this information and pass it on to your friends, family and countrymen. And tell ’em to quit being an asshole and learn how to drive. Thanks 🙂

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Tyler is a full-time writer, former professional wrestler, and film/television aficionado. His first car was a 1997 Buick Park Avenue, cleverly nicknamed Buffy the Highway Slayer. She met an early fate, like most slayers, at the young age of twelve. He then upgraded for a 2005 Ford Mustang, giving it the very original name... Buffy 2. He currently writes for phantomcopy.com.

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Miscellaneous

Are You Getting Ripped-Off Buying a Used Hybrid?

Is buying a used hybrid worth it?

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2021 Mitsubishi Oultander PHEV charging

Right now is an unprecedented time in every aspect of the automotive industry. New vehicle inventory is in short supply, and prices are rising. The available crop of used vehicles is thin, and prices are rising. Electric cars are coming soon, and those prices will probably be up there for a while as well. And, how could we forget that the cost of gasoline is anything other than an actual living nightmare? None of that changes the fact that people need vehicles, and they need them to be as fuel-efficient as humanly possible. So, is buying a used hybrid worth it? If you can find something in your price range, absolutely. However, like anything else in the automotive world, buying a used hybrid sedan, hatchback or SUV will have pros and cons.

Reasons Buying a Used Hybrid is Worth it

The first and most apparent reason buying a used hybrid vehicle is worth it comes down to price. Even with the secondary auto market as hot as it is right now, a pre-owned vehicle is still very likely cheaper than a brand-new version of the same model. That’s just the nature of automotive depreciation, and nobody likes it, and we all have to live with it. Let’s look at a few more reasons not to overlook a used hybrid platform.

  • Used Hybrids Are Still Super Efficient — Even with a few thousand miles on the odometer, a pre-owned hybrid platform is still going to be able to deliver excellent fuel economy scores. Given the forecast for the price of gas, every stop at the gas station that can be avoided is helpful.
  • Lower Chance of Problems — A lot of hybrid platforms have proven themselves to be a bit easier to maintain. Several studies have shown that those components last longer because hybrid systems capture energy from the brakes and transmission to recharge the battery system.
  • Long-Lasting Warranties — Automakers have been very generous in providing long warranties for their hybrid models, many lasting between 100,000 and 150,000 miles. Any remaining coverage from the original warranty can often be passed to subsequent owners.

What Should I Watch Out for When Buying a Used Hybrid?

A certain amount of due diligence goes into buying a pre-owned vehicle. However, when purchasing a used hybrid vehicle, paying particular attention to the various electrical components is crucial. Finding a neutral mechanic with experience servicing hybrid cars will be essential to making a sound decision. Additionally, don’t make any decision about buying a used hybrid vehicle without seeing a vehicle history report.

Are Hybrids Expensive to Repair?

Every hybrid car has a battery system, usually nickel-metal-hydride or lithium ion. The former is less expensive to repair than the latter in most cases. In terms of price, a replacement hybrid battery system can cost between $1,000 and $5,000. However, some batteries can have individual cells replaced, which is significantly less expensive.

All in all, a used hybrid that has been well-maintained is an excellent option. However, like buying anything used vehicle, a certain amount of caution must be taken to ensure you aren’t stuck with a lemon.

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Miscellaneous

Always Be Yourself — Unless You Can Be Batman

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Chibatman Drives Through City

Real Batman in Japan

ChibatmanWay to go parents, you screwed up again! Growing up, they always told me to be myself. But they never told me I could be Batman. If I would have known I could be Batman, I WOULD HAVE BEEN BATMAN.

But whatever. At least this guy in Japan didn’t listen to such terrible advice. He realized long ago that if you want to be Batman, you can just go ahead and do that. So for the past three years or so, this Chiba, Japan citizen, who has now been dubbed Chibatman, has taken to the streets in full Dark Knight gear, including his own version of the Batcycle/Batpod.

While most of Chibatman’s attire looks like it was taken straight from the set of the Dark Knight, he made some alterations to his ride. By choosing a three-wheeled motorcycle rather than the two-wheeled Batpod from the Dark Knight movie, Chibatman is not required by law to wear a helmet. Because a vigilante with a helmet is sad.

Batpod Flips Against Wall

Come on…

Also, the real Batman in Japan won’t be able to recreate that stupid scene from The Dark Knight where Batman runs this motorcycle into the wall and turns it around. Worst part of the movie.

Although he waits patiently in traffic and doesn’t do vigilante things like stand watch atop buildings, he is a true inspiration for those of us who drive ho-hum sedans without capes.

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10 Best Automotive Moments In Pro Wrestling

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Think of some of the most awesome moments in pro wrestling from the past couple decades. If you’re a fan, at least one of your top 10 probably involves some sort of vehicle. In a world where theatrics trump everything, mystery limos, sports cars, and monster trucks are as much a part of pro wrestling as suplexes, backhand chops (WHOOOOO!!), and chokeslams. Here are the 10 best automotive moments in pro wrestling, and that’s the bottom line, cuz CarDebater.com said so!

10. John Cena Drives Mustang Into Wrestlemania 23

After revving the engine and burning some rubber in the streets around Ford Field, Cena drives a Ford Mustang into the stadium and through a glass panel letting everyone know the Champ is Here!

9. Goldberg’s Monster Truck Destroys Rick Steiner’s Car

For a few years in WCW,  no wrestler was more dominant than Goldberg. In his prime, Goldberg repeatedly asked us “Who’s Next?” and ran over people’s cars with his monster truck. I’m not sure if this is more impressive than his spear/jackhammer combo, but it’s pretty cool watching Goldberg demolish Rick Steiner’s car. At least Steiner was nicknamed The Dog-Faced Gremlin. I wish people called me the Dog-Faced Gremlin…

8. Undertaker Takes Last Ride in Hearse

The main event of No Mercy 2004 ended with Taker being driven away in a hearse, but it took some classically shady JBL antics. Just when it looked like Taker was going to load Bradshaw into the hearse, Heidenreich (who?) comes out of the hearse and gives the Dead Man the ol’ chloroform rag to the face. Taker sits up inside the hearse and comes back for more, but the deadly Heidenreich and JBL duo proves to be too much for Undertaker. After getting driven backstage, Heidenreich rams a truck into the hearse. Classic Heidenreich.

7. NWO Drives Semi Into The Rock’s Ambulance

In a less impressive second run as a stable, the aging NWO proved that it was “4 Life” when the faction battled The Rock in the WWE. On this particular evening, Hogan and his gang of miscreants roughed up the Brahma Bull real bad. After the paramedics loaded The Rock into an ambulance, NWO members cut off the emergency vehicle to prevent it from leaving the arena. Hollywood Hogan hops in a semi and rams it into the ambulance a couple times, laying the Smackdown on the Rock…Brother.

6. Hulk Hogan Runs Over Undertaker’s Motorcycle

Before Undertaker lost to Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania (a simpler time) and he was in his badass biker stage, Taker and Hulk Hogan were mixed up in a doozy of a feud. Hogan had Taker’s motorcycle and was driving around backstage like a lunatic looking for the Dead Man. When Hogan couldn’t find him, he decided to get behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler and destroy the motorcycle, forcing it to Rest. In. Peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rc-z5WVb1d8

5. Mr. McMahon’s Limo Blows up and Kills Him. Except Not.

This whole shit was really weird and terrible. In short, Vince felt bad about himself and organized a “Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night.” But no one appreciated Vinny Mac and as he methodically strutted to his limo to leave the arena, you knew something was about to go down. Boom! His limo blows up, the lights faded to black, and Vince McMahon is dead.

WWE.com reported the explosion as if it actually happened and some news outlets followed suit. After weeks of tributes and a fricken memorial service for this not dead person, WWE scrapped the storyline when Chris Benoit made everything a bit too real. It was a dumb idea that turned out to be in bad taste, but there is “No Chance in Hell” I was leaving it off the list.

4. DX Invades Nitro in Army Jeep

In an ongoing battle between WWE and WCW for pro wrestling supremacy in the late 1990s, DX invaded WCW Monday Nitro in military gear on the back of a Marine utility vehicle with two words for the rival company. As part of the war for Monday Night ratings, this unprecedented move by HHH and his crew is still talked about as one of the most legendary moments in Monday night wrestling history.

3. Kurt Angle Soaks the Alliance in Milk

I’ll get to the far superior Stone Cold beer truck episode, but Kurt Angle driving a milk truck to the ring and spraying delicious dairy all over Stone Cold and the Alliance is certainly worth a top three spot. You’ve probably already seen this, but it’s worth watching to see Stone Cold berate Taz.

2. Stone Cold Fills Mr. McMahon’s Corvette with Cement

Welcome to the top two, also known as the the Stone Cold portion of the list. As one of many acts of defiance by the Texas Rattlesnake, he drove a cement truck into the arena and filled McMahon’s Corvette with concrete. After the Corvette is completely filled and covered in cement, Mankind tries to fetch the keys, leaving JR to sympathetically say, “Mick’s just somewhere else, bless his heart.” So much awesome here.

1 . Stone Cold’s Beer Truck

Not only is this one of the most iconic automotive moments in pro wrestling history, it’s one of the most memorable from the Attitude Era. While being sprayed by beer from a hose is a dream of mine, the Corporation didn’t share my idea of a good time. Note the high pitched screams, Vince’s spectacular reaction, and the absolute carnage this light mist of beer causes.

There are a few reason’s this is two spots better than Kurt Angle’s Milk Truck

1. It’s beer
2. It was first
3. The acting and commentary is funnier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjz3u8KgLRg

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