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There Is Nothing Appealing About Sitting Bitch In The K900

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These days it’s pretty hard for automakers to offer a class-exclusive feature as just about everything logical has already been thought of. That’s not stopping them from coming up with other useless ideas, however. Take for example the backseat controls of the upcoming 2015 Kia K900. At first glance, the controls seem pretty awesome, but after thinking over some real-world situations, they seem pretty impractical.

For one, kids sit in the back seat. I know from experience that when kids have a chance to fuck with something, they will. To be honest, I still mess around with the power seats every time I get in a car that’s equipped with them. It’s just a good time. The only difference is that my hands aren’t covered in snot and Cheeto dust.

The other shitty part about the backseat controls is that they’re located on the fold-down divider of the back seat. So if you’ve got five people in the car, the controls can’t even be accessed. If you ask me, sitting bitch was bad enough when you didn’t have people harassing you for blocking the temperature and reclining controls.

sitting-bitch-backseat-middle-seat-kia-k900

Quite possibly the happiest anyone has ever looked while sitting bitch.

Even if the controls could be accessed with the car at capacity, sitting bitch in the K900 is still equally unappealing, as only the outboard seats can be adjusted. So while all of the other four passengers are getting their asses warmed in their reclining seats, there is one person stuck with absolutely no amenities and the un-safest seatbelt in the car.

That brings me to another point. Automakers really need to focus on making the bitch seat appealing. The phrase “not bitch” has become just as engrained in American culture as “shotgun,” so you can’t tell me that automotive designers aren’t aware of the fact that sitting bitch is one of the worst things in the world. I really want to see a car that has a bitch seat people actually want to sit in.

If you only have four passengers that are not children riding in the K900, I will admit that the backseat controls are pretty cool. However, the odds that K900 drivers will always have those ideal conditions during the life of their car are highly unlikely.

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Eventually someone will have to sit bitch, and fists will be thrown.

 

John is a full-time automotive blogger who digs cars, but also spends a disturbing amount of time watching and reading about movies. His first car was a maroon 1993 Buick Skylark which, after a solid seven-year run, was laid to rest in August of 2013. He currently writes for phantomcopy.com.

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Car WTFs

The Most Interesting Aspects of the Dodge Demon

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hellcat demon engine

Many of us thought that the Dodge Challenger Hellcat was about as intimidating as a car could get. After all, people couldn’t hardly get them off the lot without crashing them when they first came out. Then Dodge upped the ante with the new Demon. But aside from the raw power, there are some other interesting aspects of the new Demon.

Check out the video below for a full rundown of just how unique this car is.

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Car WTFs

Mercedes Names May Be Getting More Confusing

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mercedes naming gls coupe

Think you finally have your Mercedes names mastered? Well, a new challenge appears to be coming, friend.

How to now identify Mercedes models by name

Some moves in the northwoods of Canada by the brand appear to signal a change in the naming conventions that will be used for Mercedes and AMG models. Candian trademarks have been filed for  A 40, CLA 40, SLC 40, SLC 50 and GLE 50 in addition to CLA 53, G73 and S73.

If this proves true in the states, it would signal an end to the rule of two digits for Mercedes, three-digits for AMG counterparts. The new world would be two digits, ending in a “0” for Mercedes, and two digits ending in a “3” for AMG. This supports rumors of  an AMG ‘73’ model with a hybrid powertrain.

While this change isn’t terribly difficult to comprehend, it certainly makes things interesting when comparing legacy and upcoming Mercedes models. There are a lot of numbers to keep straight, and a lot of explaining to do. And the letter and number combos leave something to be desired in terms of cachet.

Oh, it’s got cachet baby!

It makes one appreciate the simplicity of giving each vehicle an actual name, like the domestic manufacturers do. Sure, that’s how we ended up with the Chevy Nova, but what are you going to do? There are only so many names, surely one for an automobile would end up meaning “no go” in some language, right?…

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Car WTFs

What’s with Toyota’s weird shifter pattern?

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"What's the Toyota's weird shifter pattern?" image of 2011 Toyota Camry shifter

I like my car. It’s a 2011 Toyota toaster, I mean Camry. If you made a list of everything a car has to do, the Camry would check all the boxes. It gets me from point A to point B with the consistency a learning golfer would envy. It’s a toaster. You put in the bread, choose your level of toastiness, push down the thingy and then wait for it to pop up. But there is one interesting thing about my car. The shifter. That’s it up there. That is definitely not conventional at all. So, what’s with Toyota’s weird shifter pattern? (more…)

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