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These Super Bowl Ads Are Terrible

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Brian is a writer focusing on the automotive world. After running his 2000 Ford Taurus into the ground, he fell head over heels for a 2013 Mazda3, because Skyactiv Technology. Duh.

Aside from the torrents of penalty flags and forty-five minute power outages, the Super Bowl is pretty awesome. It’s one of the few Sundays when shoveling your face full of junk food, guzzling beer, and gambling like a degenerate are perfectly acceptable.

Even if you don’t have a rooting interest in the game, Super Bowl ads usually provide adequate entertainment. Unlike most football games that show the same six ads 30 times, the Big Game offers new, funny and creative ads that will force you to put your bathroom break on hold until Bruno Mars’ presumably terrible halftime performance.

But these ads aren’t all good. In fact, a lot of them suck. For your viewing displeasure, we’ve sifted through this pool of disappointments to bring you the worst of the worst from recent Super Bowl car ads.

Get In – Get Happy — Volkswagen

Let’s start with this Volkswagen ad that debuted during last year’s Super Bowl. After a memorable Darth Vader spot the year before, VW helped remind us that perpetuating stereotypes is not all that funny. Sure, it was publically criticized for being racist, but I want to know why this guy doesn’t care the company he works for is failing? I hope there is a sequel to this ad where he loses his job, returns to Minnesota to live with his parents, and is forced to trade his VW for a used Catera.

I Wish – Toyota

You know what I wished for in this ad? I wished that Kaley Cuoco — one of the hottest and most famous TV stars on the planet — wasn’t wearing a purple jump suit. I’m not saying she needed to be hopping around in a bikini, but she also didn’t have to be wearing a Barney costume. Plus, I think this ad is supposed to be funny?

Victory Lap – Hyundai

Remember when I said the Toyota “I Wish” and the Volkswagen “Get in – Get Happy” ads were terrible? I take it back. I was so young and naive. Those commercials should be enshrined in some kind of Super Bowl ad Hall of Fame compared to this horn-honking menace to society. The Elantra won the 2012 North American Car of the Year award and then Hyundai made everyone hate that excellent car with this insufferable ad. From the unfortunate football reference in the opening to the complete lack of anything remotely creative or funny, Hyundai really fumbled the ball with this ad (see how stupid football references are?).

If Peyton Manning’s red forehead hasn’t blinded you, keep an eye out for this year’s terrible auto ads. Who knows, maybe they’ll even be a few good ones like this Slim Shady spot from Chrysler.

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