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Mechanic Stock Photos Couldn’t Be Any Less Accurate

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There appears to be a universal sign among mechanics that involves throwing up a single finger—and it’s not the one that you’re probably expecting. It turns out that mechanics love flashing the thumbs up, or at least that’s what stock photo websites want you to believe.

Type in “mechanic thumbs up” on Google images and you will find a disturbing number of photos that show well-groomed dudes in spotless coveralls flashing a flawless smile and tossing out a casual thumbs-up. Every picture is essentially just the Fonz standing in front of a car with the hood open—which is about as far as you can get from reality.

The last time I saw a mechanic express anything that even remotely resembled a smile, it was because he had his hands full and was forced to use his lips and some head jerks to try and readjust the cigarette hanging from his mouth. Also, unless his hair happened to also be his grease rag that day, I’m going to assume that showering before every shift wasn’t exactly one of his top priorities.

Other mechanic stock photo image searches turned up some more misleading results. It turns out that whoever is holding these photo shoots not only think mechanics are the happiest people on earth, but they also know jack shit about fixing cars. That is unless you also believe that every automotive repair can be addressed with an impractically-oversized wrench or a clipboard. Don’t forget that smile.

My faith in stock photos was slightly restored when I Googled “mechanic cigarette” and got about eight relevant results, including a stock photo of a rebellious looking teenager in a backwards trucker hat puffing on a cigarette in front of a vintage American flag in a garage. Now we’re getting somewhere.

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Arguably the greatest part of what I will call the ‘Murica-nized mechanic comes from the description of the photo, part of which reads, “Man with fictitious name of Ismael smoking cigarette in garage in front of old truck.” In an effort to avoid copyright issues we’re not posting the photo (it’s available for a reasonable $73.00 if you’re looking for something to spice up the living room), but we can assure you that Ismael is about the least-fitting name for this guy.

I’d really like to know who the geniuses behind these stock photo websites are. I’m going to assume that they’re close acquaintances with the screenwriters of every reality-distorting teen movie in existence. You know, the ones that show high school as a cliche-laden prison full of jocks and smokin’ hot cheerleaders. In fact, Google “high school stock photo” and you will find that most stock photo photographers seem to have drawn inspiration directly from those movies. It’s a sick world we live in.

Oh, and since I know you were really concerned about it, Ismael has been downloaded a total of five times.

John is a full-time automotive blogger who digs cars, but also spends a disturbing amount of time watching and reading about movies. His first car was a maroon 1993 Buick Skylark which, after a solid seven-year run, was laid to rest in August of 2013. He currently writes for phantomcopy.com.

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Ford Continues to Please Minivan-Skeptic Soccer Moms

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Ford Aerostar Minivan Exterior Does Ford Still Make

If the words Aerostar, Windstar and Freestar mean anything to you, you know that Ford is responsible for some of the best minivans ever made. Beginning with the first model Aerostar in 1986, Ford’s snub-nosed minivan set the standard of what would be created by automotive manufacturers in this class for decades.

The Aerostar was also the first minivan in the United States to feature upgraded, luxury packages. With an XLT package, and Eddie Bauer trim levels, the Ford Aerostar allowed drivers to bring passengers, cargo and more in style. For the first time, drivers could take advantage of the versatile and reliable minivan platform, without sacrificing comfort and convenience.

Does Ford Still Make a Minivan?

The Aerostar continued in the mid-90s as the Ford Windstar. The Windstar was a complete reinvention, shifting the drivetrain from RWD to FWD, and bringing the flagship minivan more in line with current minivan design. The Windstar became the Freestar in the early 2000s, lasting until the 2007 model year, with the final Ford “Star line” minivan rolling off the assembly line in December of 2006.

While we don’t know for sure what was behind Ford’s decision to discontinue their family-marketed minivan, we can take a guess. For starters, Ford has extended their reputation for reliable cars and trucks into the crossover market. With options covering a wide range of size and seating configurations (everything from the subcompact Ford Ecosport to the boxy family hauler Ford Flex), crossovers have become the new favorite for family vehicles.

Ford’s versatile crossover line has a vehicle that can meet almost any need. Do you have a small family? Go with the popular 2018 Ford Escape. Big family with lots of stuff to haul? The 2018 Ford Expedition has your back.

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Although crossovers and SUVs provide some distinct advantages (presence of AWD, higher ground clearance, and uni-body construction), the market for minivans hasn’t completely died, and neither has Ford’s commitment to providing drivers with a competent and compelling option.

Good News: Ford Still Makes a Passenger Minivan

ford transit connect passenger van in solar color_oAlthough Ford’s marketing has shifted toward promoting their incredible range of crossovers and SUVs as family choices, they still offer a more traditional minivan in the Ford Transit Connect Passenger Wagon. Utilizing the same body construction as the Ford Transit cargo van, the Transit Connect Passenger Wagon features up to 7 seats, and plenty of standard safety and comfort technology.

Lower ride height (easier in and out), sliding doors and greater visibility are among the reasons people still prefer vans for transporting their families. Additionally, the more contoured shape of most crossovers (not looking at you, Ford Flex) means that vans provide better cargo room! Family of four traveling cross-state with three suitcases? A Ford Explorer should be a great option.

Family of six, with a dog and 10 bags going cross-country, however, and the Ford Transit Connect Passenger Wagon starts to look a lot more up to the job.

Ford has a sterling reputation across the spectrum of vehicles they manufacture. Although the Transit Connect Passenger Wagon isn’t among their more well-known, it’s among the most competent and best value options in the minivan class.

 

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I Wasn’t Always a Dale Jr Fan – But Now I Get It

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It was the crowning moment of the career of Nascar’s most popular driver. The 2004 Daytona 500. The chosen son, Dale Earnhardt Jr, had won the race that his father tragically died competing in only three years earlier.

Reports of the day say that everyone in the crowd was on their feet, cheering. Grown men were in tears. It was quite the moment, they say.

Well, I can tell you that there was at least one person that wasn’t cheering. That’s because I was that lone defector. (more…)

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The Essence Of 90’s Chevy Truck Commercials

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If you ever watched television for more than an hour at any time during the 90’s, you probably remember Chevy’s “Like a Rock” commercials. They aired on just about every channel, so they were pretty hard to miss—and pretty hard to forget as well. Even two decades later the sound of Bob Seger belting out those now-famous words is still shockingly memorable. (more…)

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