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Rating The Super Bowl Car Commercials

This year, I thought the Super Bowl car commercials were just alright. Sure, some were better than others – but nothing really stood out enough to be a 10. So without further delay, below are my ratings for each Super Bowl car commercial on a simple 1-10 scale. Don’t agree? Join the debate in the comments.
Maserati Ghibli – 9
This one was unexpected. And it caused a wave of searches of “What is the Maserati Ghibli?” Pretty impressive – and an ad that obviously did its job. Great placement helped this commercial as well (before Peyton’s first breakdown). Well done, Maserati.
Chrysler 200 Bob Dylan – 8
Obviously, Chrysler keeps trying to strike gold again like it did with the Eminem 200 ad in 2010. It’s hard to beat the original with the ‘Imported from Detroit’ theme, but Bob Dylan isn’t a bad way to give it a shot. The tagline seems a bit like the old one – ‘America’s Import.’
Jeep Cherokee ‘Restless’ – 7
The new Cherokee allows you freedom. City dwellers need not apply. Another pretty good attempt at a serious tone from the Chrysler camp.
Jaguar F-Type British Villains – 7
British villains drive Jaguars. So you should too? Pretty well put together commercial. Bad boys flock to Jaguar!
Kia K900 ‘The Truth’ – 6
I was feeling the Matrix theme a little bit…until Morpheus started singing opera. Quit while you’re (somewhat) ahead. And I still don’t understand the K900 name.
Hyundai Genesis ‘Dad’s Sixth Sense’ – 6
So while dad may be able to save you from falling in a lake and taking a pinata strike to the balls, he’s strangely uninterested as you are learning to drive for the first time. Luckily, the Genesis saves both of your lives.
Honda ‘Hugfest’ – 6
I understand Honda wanted to promote its vehicle safety, but Fred Armisen holding Bruce Willis close didn’t exactly register as something I wanted to see.
Chevrolet ‘Life’ – 6
This one was just a little depressing. Again, a good message and cause, but kind of a downer during the Super Bowl.
Chevy Silverado HD ‘Romance’ – 5
A man and his truck…and cow breeding. I’m excited about this truck now?
Toyota Highlander Muppets – 5
The Toyota Highlander sure has a lot of passenger space. I mean, look at all of those Muppets in there! Could have been worse – and Muppets fans no doubt enjoyed it.
Ford Fusion ‘Nearly Double’ – 5
An interesting two-part commercial series, using the term ‘interesting’ loosely. In the second one, James Franco is Rob Riggle, for some reason. Double the fuel economy in the Fusion Hybrid – got it.
Hyundai Elantra ‘Nice’ – 4
Dr. Leonard Hofstadler and comedian Richard Lewis for some reason avoiding obstacles in an Elantra. I’ll tell you what, if I’m ever in their situation, I sure hope that I’m not driving a Hyundai Elantra.
Audi A3 ‘Doberhuahua’ – 4
This is one of those ads that tries way too hard to be funny as far as I’m concerned. This is lowbrow humor, so it probably did well with a lot of viewers. Not my cup of tea, and doesn’t do anything for the Audi A3.
Volkswagen ‘Wings’ – 2
Vehicle engineers with rainbows shooting out of their asses. That’s all I really have to say about this one.
Featured
Ford Continues to Please Minivan-Skeptic Soccer Moms

If the words Aerostar, Windstar and Freestar mean anything to you, you know that Ford is responsible for some of the best minivans ever made. Beginning with the first model Aerostar in 1986, Ford’s snub-nosed minivan set the standard of what would be created by automotive manufacturers in this class for decades.
The Aerostar was also the first minivan in the United States to feature upgraded, luxury packages. With an XLT package, and Eddie Bauer trim levels, the Ford Aerostar allowed drivers to bring passengers, cargo and more in style. For the first time, drivers could take advantage of the versatile and reliable minivan platform, without sacrificing comfort and convenience.
Does Ford Still Make a Minivan?
The Aerostar continued in the mid-90s as the Ford Windstar. The Windstar was a complete reinvention, shifting the drivetrain from RWD to FWD, and bringing the flagship minivan more in line with current minivan design. The Windstar became the Freestar in the early 2000s, lasting until the 2007 model year, with the final Ford “Star line” minivan rolling off the assembly line in December of 2006.
While we don’t know for sure what was behind Ford’s decision to discontinue their family-marketed minivan, we can take a guess. For starters, Ford has extended their reputation for reliable cars and trucks into the crossover market. With options covering a wide range of size and seating configurations (everything from the subcompact Ford Ecosport to the boxy family hauler Ford Flex), crossovers have become the new favorite for family vehicles.
Ford’s versatile crossover line has a vehicle that can meet almost any need. Do you have a small family? Go with the popular 2018 Ford Escape. Big family with lots of stuff to haul? The 2018 Ford Expedition has your back.
Although crossovers and SUVs provide some distinct advantages (presence of AWD, higher ground clearance, and uni-body construction), the market for minivans hasn’t completely died, and neither has Ford’s commitment to providing drivers with a competent and compelling option.
Good News: Ford Still Makes a Passenger Minivan
Although Ford’s marketing has shifted toward promoting their incredible range of crossovers and SUVs as family choices, they still offer a more traditional minivan in the Ford Transit Connect Passenger Wagon. Utilizing the same body construction as the Ford Transit cargo van, the Transit Connect Passenger Wagon features up to 7 seats, and plenty of standard safety and comfort technology.
Lower ride height (easier in and out), sliding doors and greater visibility are among the reasons people still prefer vans for transporting their families. Additionally, the more contoured shape of most crossovers (not looking at you, Ford Flex) means that vans provide better cargo room! Family of four traveling cross-state with three suitcases? A Ford Explorer should be a great option.
Family of six, with a dog and 10 bags going cross-country, however, and the Ford Transit Connect Passenger Wagon starts to look a lot more up to the job.
Ford has a sterling reputation across the spectrum of vehicles they manufacture. Although the Transit Connect Passenger Wagon isn’t among their more well-known, it’s among the most competent and best value options in the minivan class.
Featured
I Wasn’t Always a Dale Jr Fan – But Now I Get It

It was the crowning moment of the career of Nascar’s most popular driver. The 2004 Daytona 500. The chosen son, Dale Earnhardt Jr, had won the race that his father tragically died competing in only three years earlier.
Reports of the day say that everyone in the crowd was on their feet, cheering. Grown men were in tears. It was quite the moment, they say.
Well, I can tell you that there was at least one person that wasn’t cheering. That’s because I was that lone defector. (more…)
Featured
The Essence Of 90’s Chevy Truck Commercials

If you ever watched television for more than an hour at any time during the 90’s, you probably remember Chevy’s “Like a Rock” commercials. They aired on just about every channel, so they were pretty hard to miss—and pretty hard to forget as well. Even two decades later the sound of Bob Seger belting out those now-famous words is still shockingly memorable. (more…)
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Shrek
Feb 4, 2014 at 5:51 pm
Learn to laugh idiot
Wes Lungwitz
Feb 5, 2014 at 11:59 pm
Obviously a Doberhuahua fan. Glad to see you have internet out in the swamp these days!