Richie Incognito Channels Walter Sobchak And Destroys His Ferrari

Dolphins lineman Richie Incognito has been all over headlines lately for his alleged bullying of teammate Jonathan Martin, but it turns out that his real enemy is his Ferrari.

The other night Incognito beat the shit out of his $300,000 Ferrari with a baseball bat. Photos posted on the TMZ website showed the dented up Ferrari with a t-shirt hanging off the side mirror and the handle of the bat sticking out of the grille.

In an interview with a terrified looking reporter, Incognito explained his reasoning for the incident:

“Oh that was that was just me venting. That was self-expression. That’s a piece of art. The happiest day of my life was when I got that car and now the second happiest day will be when I donate it to charity.”

Was it absolutely necessary to take his shirt off for this?

He further explained the whole charity thing by saying that the Ferrari will be sold through his mission—a mission which involves “helping the brotherhood, whatever brotherhood it is.” Makes a whole lot of sense to me.

The demolished car, or “piece of art” as he calls it, will be sold to help a brotherhood that he doesn’t even know about yet. This dude has got some serious problems. Thankfully, it was just announced that Incognito checked into an Arizona facility today and will be receiving some professional help.

The most confusing part of all of this is that Incognito is smashing all of his most expensive shit when his future in the NFL is not especially promising. He’s currently a free agent, and after all the drama that he’s been stirring up, it’s not likely that anyone is going to sign him. The dents in his Ferrari aren’t nearly as serious as the dents that he has put in his reputation.

Perhaps he should consider a career in baseball.

Unfortunately there isn’t any video of the Ferrari taking the vicious beating, but I’m just going to have to assume that it looked a little something like this: