Guy Fieri’s Car Collection Is As Obnoxious As The Man Himself

For the longest time I liked to believe that Guy Fieri wasn’t nearly as big of a douche in real life as he was on TV. I liked to believe that when the cameras were off, the first thing he did was comb down that shitty bleached-blonde hair and slip on something other than a flame-encrusted bowling shirt. On his way home he called his wife and kids, and he talked like a normal person. His conversations were void of senseless catch phrases and he spoke at a respectable volume.

I liked to believe that the nauseating look and over-the-top personality was just a way of attracting viewers. For some reason it made watching his shows much more tolerable for me.

That all changed when I saw his car collection.

Save for the Lamborghini that was hijacked a few years back, Fieri has seven different vehicles in his possession, and each and every one of them is exactly what you would expect them to be. The collection as a whole just proves that the obnoxiously-loud Guy Fieri you see on the screen is not just for ratings.

He really is “That Guy.”

2007 Chevy Corvette “Big Bite”

Apparently Guy’s first purchase after signing his first deal with Food Network. Seems a bit modest, but how was he supposed to know that he would end up making millions?

2011 Chevy Camaro “SS Ryder”

A yellow Camaro. Named after his son Ryder. How adorable.

1969 Chevy Corvette

Well, turns out that Guy likes his yellow Chevys.

1971 Chevy Chevelle “SS Hunter”

What’s this? Another yellow Chevy? Surely this must be the last.

2006 Chevy Kodiak “Full Bore”

Goddamnit.

1976 Jeep CJ-5 “Devil CJ”

Well it’s not a Chevy. But it is yellow. And it has flames. And quite possibly the shittiest nickname I’ve ever heard.

2007 Shelby Cobra “Live Fast”

This one was a gift to Guy which may explain why it isn’t yellow and why it isn’t a Chevy, but if you look closely, you’ll notice that yes, that is his name on the hood. Why is this not surprising?

With an estimated net worth of $16 million, you would think that Guy’s car collection would be a bit more impressive, but then again, the abundance of yellow is evidence of the fact that being seen or heard is all that really matters to him.