Car WTFs

HondaVAC Makes The Minivan Experience Even Worse…If That’s Possible

Car WTFs
@WesLungwitz

Wes grew up around cars at the family business. He makes no attempt to hide his love of early 90s GM products, and still repents selling his sweet '94 Pontiac Sunbird a few years back.

Buying a minivan has to be one of life’s most depressing moments. When someone decides that a minivan is the route they are going with their next vehicle purchase, I’m guessing that a little piece of them dies.

Seemingly sensing that a minivan is the end game for an exciting life, Honda decided that it would rub some salt in the wound with the HondaVAC on the Odyssey. Since life for these van consumers revolves around mundane activities like cooking and cleaning anyway, why not put a vacuum right in the vehicle?

The rear of your ride used to be equipped with sub-woofers back in the 90s. And it was a classic Monte Carlo. Now you’re old and your vehicle is a minivan with a fucking vacuum in the back.

hondavac and crums

See you again soon crumbs!

Beyond the insult that is having a vacuum equipped in the car is the utility factor. Personally, I go to the gas station and use the high powered vacuum that has sucked down more unknown substances than a Vegas prostitute.

There are several reasons for using the gas station vacuum.

First, it’s super powerful. I can stick the hose under the seat and it’s going to take everything with it. I don’t even have to see the shit – it’s just gone. And that leads into the second reason – that shit is gone forever into the unholy mess that is the inside of a gas station vacuum. Maybe someone has to deal with it, but it’s not me. Where do you think that mixture of child vomit and french fries goes with the HondaVAC? Yep, into a container that stinks up the car until you clean it out. So you get to clean TWICE! Thanks, Honda.

So while the HondaVAC ads a while back might have been cute and made you think that this was a cool accessory, don’t be fooled. If you are using the vac, it means that you are driving a van – and your life is probably shitty, and will get even more shitty when you have to clean the vac out.

View Comments (3)

3 Comments

  1. Jim

    Mar 18, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Wes, you spelled crumbs wrong.

  2. Wes Lungwitz

    Mar 18, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    Looks write to me

  3. GP

    Jul 6, 2016 at 11:03 am

    WOW you are one big Honda hater who clearly has no idea about travelling with kids. And BTW owning a minivan does not equal to end of excitement. totally worthless article.

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