There Is Nothing Appealing About Sitting Bitch In The K900

These days it’s pretty hard for automakers to offer a class-exclusive feature as just about everything logical has already been thought of. That’s not stopping them from coming up with other useless ideas, however. Take for example the backseat controls of the upcoming 2015 Kia K900. At first glance, the controls seem pretty awesome, but after thinking over some real-world situations, they seem pretty impractical.

For one, kids sit in the back seat. I know from experience that when kids have a chance to fuck with something, they will. To be honest, I still mess around with the power seats every time I get in a car that’s equipped with them. It’s just a good time. The only difference is that my hands aren’t covered in snot and Cheeto dust.

The other shitty part about the backseat controls is that they’re located on the fold-down divider of the back seat. So if you’ve got five people in the car, the controls can’t even be accessed. If you ask me, sitting bitch was bad enough when you didn’t have people harassing you for blocking the temperature and reclining controls.

Quite possibly the happiest anyone has ever looked while sitting bitch.

Even if the controls could be accessed with the car at capacity, sitting bitch in the K900 is still equally unappealing, as only the outboard seats can be adjusted. So while all of the other four passengers are getting their asses warmed in their reclining seats, there is one person stuck with absolutely no amenities and the un-safest seatbelt in the car.

That brings me to another point. Automakers really need to focus on making the bitch seat appealing. The phrase “not bitch” has become just as engrained in American culture as “shotgun,” so you can’t tell me that automotive designers aren’t aware of the fact that sitting bitch is one of the worst things in the world. I really want to see a car that has a bitch seat people actually want to sit in.

If you only have four passengers that are not children riding in the K900, I will admit that the backseat controls are pretty cool. However, the odds that K900 drivers will always have those ideal conditions during the life of their car are highly unlikely.

Eventually someone will have to sit bitch, and fists will be thrown.